Tamara Lynch

D is for

Dara: Aunt Dara strikes again. In another stimulating conversation where the main topic is how cute my cousin’s (her daughter’s) kids are, she says to me “You know, Tammy (my family refuses to call me by my given name even though I have demanded it since the 5th grade when I found my birth certificate), lots of people stay single and are perfectly happy. You can always adopt. I hear Chinese babies are very smart.” Yes, she really said this. She drops bombs like this on me all the time and it is futile to point out the absurdity of her statements. For instance, while watching the Thanksgiving Day parade she turned to me and suggested I tryout for a Broadway play, because it would be “fun”.

E is for

Extramarital Affair: Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich just acknowledged that he was having an extramarital affair even as he led the charge against President Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky controversy. I hope someone pointed out to that bible toting asshole that he will now be in Hell with the rest of us. J

F is for

Freud: “This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever”
-Sigmund Freud on the Irish
See, even Freud couldn’t have dealt with Aunt Dara.

G is for

Grey’s Anatomy: The girls at work love this show, and will kill me for saying this…but I think this show SUCKS! There is not one believable story. The romance is ridiculous and the medical issues are worse. Some kid had a tree- an entire tree- in his chest, yet his breathing was normal and he wasn’t even bleeding. He miraculously lived. Doctor and patient fell in love and got engaged after 2 weeks, patient died, but he somehow changed his will and left her $8 million dollars. She donated it to the hospital?! Come on!

H is for

Ho: Back away from my man! You know who you are. J

I is for

Intimidating: I’ve been called this more than a few times. If you think I’m intimidating, well, there is a possibility that you are just a pussy.