Random Thoughts in Alphabetical Order Con’t.

J is for:

Jeremy: My high school crush and one of my closest friends. Our daily e-mails revolve around dating and who did or didn’t “get some” the night before. According to Jer, I cock block myself. We should have gotten married. With his height and my athletic ability our kids would have def made it to the NBA. Jer, It’s not too late….

K is for:

Krakauer: I am just finishing up John Krakauer’s “Under the Banner of Heaven” which chronicles the history of the Mormon religion. It occurred to me that given the opportunity, any guy, Mormon or not, would practice polygamy. It’s just an excuse to have sex with several women other than your wife. They call it a religious duty, we call it cheating.

L is for:

Lingerie: In an attempt to buy a sexy gift for an up coming bridal shower, I strolled into this cute lingerie boutique on Mott st. last week. Are crotch-less panties sexy or are they just gross?

M is for:

Mulatto: “A person with one white parent and one black parent. They are usually very attractive. Mulattos are widely regarded as the most beautiful people in the world.”
No joke, this description is straight from UrbanDictionary.com. Who am I to argue?
Jeremy – I know you don’t want to hear this…your nieces are hot.

N is for:

The City council of New York banned the word “Nigger” last month. The ban carries no penalty (so why bother?), but they hope it hinders use of the word. The city has also decided to use that whole Michael Richardson (Kramer) debacle and turn it against the entertainment industry…specifically Rap and Hip-hop. They have asked the recording academy to exclude songs that include the word nigger from consideration for a Grammy. I can’t help but roll my eyes at this. You can’t fault a race for embracing a word they have been called for over 200 years, you can’t ignore the affects of slavery, and you can’t wipe out prejudice by not giving it a Grammy. Idiots!

O is for:

Old School: Gimmie Nice and Smooth, Slick Rick, Brand Nubian, Pete Rock and C.L. Smooth, Black Moon, Gang Starr, Eric B. & Rakim, Public Enemy, Zulu Nation, Black Sheep, Camp Lo, Big Daddy Kane, EPMD…throw in Tribe’s Midnight Marauder and Nas’s Illmatic and I’m straight!

P is for:

Porn: I must have been about 10 or 11 when I saw my first porno. I was sleeping over at my best friend Susie’s house. Her parents would go bowling every Saturday night, which left us to sneak a beer from the fridge and raid their bedroom. We tore into the closet one night and found tapes in a shoebox on the top shelf. We grabbed one called Taboo, popped it in the VCR and just sat there, passing the beer back and forth, eyes glued to the TV.

Some people don’t like hardcore…I don’t like those people.

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