Tamara Lynch

Married about a year now, Zoe Saldana and Marco Perego have apparently made their first public appearance as a couple. They recently swirled up the red carpet at AOLs NewFronts event. But who the F is this guy? Here is what I’ve uncovered:

1. He’s from Italy and his first steps into America landed him in New York on 104th street. How did he get from Spanish Harlem to Zoe Saldana?  That accent I bet.

2. He’s a painter and sculptor.  I’m told this is his. Those aren’t gum balls, people. It’s art.

3. He’s an ex-soccer star. Aren’t they all?

4. He meditates everyday and worked for over a year with a doctor to detox himself and transform his life. Yeah, he’s one of those. I guess it worked though.

5. He tattooed Zoe’s face on his arm. Umm…that’s the kiss of death for any relationship. But I’m going to stay positive.

So he sounds like a unicorn, but so is she. In 2013, Zoe told Allure Magazine that she loves men, but she might end up raising children with a woman. She also called herself androgynous. What? Well, Marco does have long hair.  Maybe Zoe likes it when Marco puts his hair up in a ponytail and bakes cookies. Who knows what goes on, but let’s give it up for the androgynous unicorn swirl.