Cookie and The Countess! Don’t text me tonight.
Oh, and because I fantasize about Tom Hardy. But mostly it’s because of those pesky men’s rights activists. Apparently, the new MAD MAX is just too feminist. I didn’t realize men were so oppressed these days. I mean, did someone take away their reproductive rights? Or their right to vote? Maybe they are only making 70% on the dollar. Poor guys. Click here for the full CNN article.
I’m still on the fence about seeing Fifty Shades of Grey the movie this Valentine’s Day. Honestly, the only draw for me is Jamie Dornan. I’ve just finished watching both seasons of The Fall and am now in full blown Jamie withdraw. But even his hotness can’t squelch my hesitation to sit through this story again. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the sexier scenes, but there are several things throughout the trilogy that could have used a stronger edit.
Here are five that I hope the movie version can eradicate.
1. Anastasia’s annoying inner dialog: All of those “Oh Christian’s” and that strange elvish inner vixen that stomps her foot and bats her eyelashes-WTF?? They have got to go!
2. Anastasia’s ignorance of the 21st century: These days an American twenty-two year old virgin college senior is rare, but possible. But an American twenty-two year old virgin college senior with no cell phone, laptop, or internet knowledge is a fucking joke. That, my friend, is what we call an unbelievable character. If you know someone that fits this description, then Unicorns are real.
3. The fake BDSM: Being tied up, blindfolded, paddled, and fucked hard as punishment is not BDSM. For some it’s just a Saturday night.
4. All peripheral women are depicted as thirsty whores: From the waitresses to the architect, every woman that Christian comes in contact with becomes a walking vagina weeping for his dick, so much so that they can’t help but to squirm and smile into his eyes, in front of Ana. Really? Must all women be simpering idiots in this story?
5. Anastasia’s dull personality: Sadly, Anastasia isn’t interesting. At all. She’s like an Amish farm girl who’s been pushed into her rumspringa. She’s even less interesting than her inspiration Bella, who was bland, I believe, on purpose to contrast her more vibrant vampire self. Too bad Ana has no such transformation. It’s on Dakota Johnson to bring Ana to life. Keep your fingers crossed.
In most cases the book is better than the movie, this time I hope it’s the other way around. Tell me, are you going to go see Fifty Shades?
Oh, it’s all over the news about Daniele Watts and her boyfriend Brian James Lucas, better known as celebrity chef Cheffy Be*Live (rolling my eyes), being harassed by LAPD this weekend. And I just watched the CNN live interview this morning. Honestly, I do think it was racial profiling. I also think I would have done the same thing in her situation. But what were they doing in that car????
Daniele is sticking to her story that she was “showing affection.” Very vague. They were showing so much affection that someone called the cops! And they called 911–this is an emergency?? I hate LA. I don’t think D and Cheffy were having sex, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a BJ was involved. Or a handjob. She was, however, talking to her father on the phone when the police showed up…so there’s that. *eyebrow raise* Things that make you go hmmmmm.
Who knows what they were doing, but Cheffy Be*Live gave the best run down of the situation. [The police] “saw a tatted RAWKer white boy and a hot bootie shorted black girl and thought we were a HO & a TRICK .” End Quote. Love it.
Do you think it was pure racial profiling?
Do you think there were some lewd acts going on in the car?
Do you think it was a little of both?
We all know about the image machine (don’t we Rihanna), but this doc really digs in. It will change the way you look at the music industry. I am rooting for this doc on Oscar night!
Spoiler alert: I teared up when Darlene Love talked about hearing her song on the radio while she was working as a maid. And Sting gets a little spiritual, which comes off a little douchie. I still love him though.
April can’t get here fast enough. I can’t wait until Ygritte catches up with Jon Snow. “Hell hath no fury…”
A couple of posts ago I told you about my fellow writer Nadia Manzoor’s one woman show “Burq Off.” The show was astounding. I say this not because she is my friend, but because she is so fucking talented. Below is a clip from the live CNN interview she did this morning. The next run of the show will be in March. Get tickets now.
My dear friend Nadia has written and produced her own play. If you are looking to be inspired this holiday season, you need to see this show. Her journey as a Muslim woman struggling to find herself will astound you. Get your tickets HERE!
Synopsis: Burq off! is an autobiographical one woman show, charting the journey of a British Pakistani Muslim’s struggle towards self acceptance. As she navigates the conflicting cultural norms of modern London and her conservative Muslim home, she embodies a cast of 21 characters that infuse the story with comedy, religious fundamentalism, cultural critique and spiritual depth.
Along the way you will meet Nadia’s aggressive twin brother, her controlling Muslim father, and the essence of joy in the family, her mother.
In addition, her Islamic teachers, her life long ’western’ best friend, and the first love of her life add a diversity of perspectives to this deeply moving, personal and universal story.
And they don’t appreciate Disney movies that throw it in their face! These two came out of The Odd Life of Timothy Green (a movie about a boy who grew out of a garden…fun) very, very upset. So much for the “feel good movie of the year.” Meanwhile, this video pretty much made my day. Spoiler alert: They reveal the movie ending…and they both have budding man boobs.