WTF Wednesday: This Is What Your Favorite Disney Prince’s Peen Looks Like. #youcanthandleit #jezebel

princeOmg.  The ladies of Jezebel have once again defamed the cult magic that is Disney with yet another post designed to completely ruin your favorite childhood vehicles for brainwashing characters. Wanna know what your favorite Disney Prince’s penis looks like?  Well here it is in full illustrated form. Disney’s Dudes’ Dicks does not disappoint. It’s all there, with commentary. Let me tell you right now-you aren’t ready for this. Prince Charming has a dick, you guys!  And it’s incredible.  I don’t know whether to laugh or get turned on cry!

Seriously, WTF goes on in the Jezebel offices?  I have this image of girls running around in french panties and heels yelling, “I want to write about dicks!” While another group of girls yells, “I want to write about vaginas!”  And then a singular voice of reason gets on a megaphone and says, “Let’s write about dicks and vaginas!” Cue confetti raining from the sky and everyone jumping up and down in celebration. Pretty sure this happens every day. Oh wait, I can’t talk…that’s all I want to write about too…

If your friends aren’t your friends…then who are they? #frenemies

Two weeks ago I had to put my dog to “sleep.”  Cancer.  The type that is immune to treatment and sticks itself in places that are inoperable.  He was my soul.  He was the one I took with me when I left my husband five years ago.  I chucked that life to start a new one…just me and Maximus-my black French Bulldog.

His proud bat ears and stocky legs owned the sidewalks of the Lower East Side.  I even wrote about him for

The night he passed, I left the animal hospital wanting to die too.  I became a recluse and drowned myself in video games, Netflix, and porn. Work helped, but I wasn’t all there.  None of it really pulled me up, but it was a good distraction.

A lot of my friends were really supportive, as were the special people in my writing group.  Even work colleagues, people I’ve known for a month, had my back.

So how is it that some of my oldest friends couldn’t find a way to give me a phone call? Or send a text?  It’s so disappointing to think that you gave support to someone who can’t seem to give it back to you.  I’ve pinpointed a few peeps in my crew as frenemies.

And all I have to say to frenemies is “EAT A DICK!”